BLACKOUT

Today just isn't great 

Years made it almost like it's just falling apart 

I had to win so did he with that bringing a shadow of doubt 

I approached him to diffuse such matters

5:30 the realization to live

Women have been harmed by society

 I have no motivation to rise above it I excepted this the way it should be it doesn't matter at this point if our voices are silenced 

Fake name and a fire escape

- Shelby Kleiman

Skeleton

206 bones make up the framework of my being, with my soul floating between flesh and bone 

My heart is the living room 

And it's too big

Death has visited far more than any friend has in this life

You joined me a few times and you've make it clear to me you can't play the guitar but you pluck and play with my heart strings far too often 

yet I'm not a dancer and I've had my fair share of dances with the devil

Why can't I remember anything before February 

Maybe it's because of this tourniquet was tightened on that day and hasn't stopped sense 

God help me because I think its cutting the creativity off from my head

Someone please stop the world from rapid spinning 

Because I'm watching my life in fast forward from the comfort of my over sized living room accompanied by regret and death my familiar dark friends       

Marijuana and Friendship

Marijuana the gateway drug 

You came to me when you needed me the most 

I picked you up and held you through this

I was a habit But I didn't know 

You got bored and left me for someone more exciting 

Someone who made you see things differently 

Someone told me it was acid or shrooms 

I personally can see you being happy with them 

But then again I thought you were happy with me 

Coming back to me when you needed something 

I am the gateway friend 

When we first started out it was a blast

We would laugh uncontrollably 

Eat junk constantly and act unresponsively

We didn't care who was watching or what they were saying because we had eachother and I was happy with that.

But you stopped caring as much 

We stopped talking 

And I realized I was being used 

And I guess high wore off 

Now I don't see you around much 

When I do you need something 

Now when I call you I only talk to your voicemail 

I mean it's not the first time this has happened 

One time I was left for cigarette or something like that because they were popular and wether you want to believe it or not they are slowly killing you 

Another time we got caught and now we are not allowed to see each other, every day I wish it could have ended better

 

It just doesn't seem fair 

It feels like it was all doomed from the start 

Your parents warned you about me

But why didn't anyone tell me about you 

ALIVE

When the plane hits a lot of turbulence 

When you look over the edge of a cliff

When you mess up in front of the class 

When someone yells at you

When you fall on to your bed after a long day

When the kiss actually means something 

When making a huge decision

When you know the outcome 

When you don't know the outcome 

When the car drifts 

When you bleed 

When you hear the good news first and you know the bad new is going to suck

When you wake up from a dream 

When you get out of your comfort zone 

When you can't put feelings into words 

I know I'm alive when my pulse is pounding like a fist on a door. Like the fist is the experience and I have the choice to let it in. 

Shoebox of Old Boyfriends

Box of Photo Booth pictures with past boyfriends and a song to go along with each:

I

Waiting in an alley underneath a street lamp 

Grabbing my hand but only kissing half my lips 

We were 11 and now 18 and laughing about it

WHEN YOU LOVE SOMEBODY// THE FRUIT BATS

II

By the time they told me to be careful it was too late 

The "first love" poisoned me from the start

 Broken is how you left me

YOU// THE 1975

III

Car parked , blankets out, you were cold but I couldn't feel a thing 

Fake love ft. passive me and aggressive you 

He should've known that waiting on love isn't an easy thing to do

IT WILL COME BACK// HOZIER

IV

Lake water, shaky hands, and locked eyes 

Devils tears playing, god it felt right 

Thoughts running wild like your fingers in my hair

THE DEVIL'S TEARS// ANGUS AND JULIA STONE

Broken Glass

I'm so damn tierd of trying to 

Tiptoe trough the broken glass 

Of what once was a grand 

Work of art

Why is it every time I talk to you

I'm about to step on a bomb 

Because every conversation is a

Minefield.