- Shelby Kleiman
11.30.2015
11.09.2015
Skeleton
206 bones make up the framework of my being, with my soul floating between flesh and bone
My heart is the living room
And it's too big
Death has visited far more than any friend has in this life
You joined me a few times and you've make it clear to me you can't play the guitar but you pluck and play with my heart strings far too often
yet I'm not a dancer and I've had my fair share of dances with the devil
Why can't I remember anything before February
Maybe it's because of this tourniquet was tightened on that day and hasn't stopped sense
God help me because I think its cutting the creativity off from my head
Someone please stop the world from rapid spinning
Because I'm watching my life in fast forward from the comfort of my over sized living room accompanied by regret and death my familiar dark friends
10.25.2015
Marijuana and Friendship
Marijuana the gateway drug
You came to me when you needed me the most
I picked you up and held you through this
I was a habit But I didn't know
You got bored and left me for someone more exciting
Someone who made you see things differently
Someone told me it was acid or shrooms
I personally can see you being happy with them
But then again I thought you were happy with me
Coming back to me when you needed something
I am the gateway friend
When we first started out it was a blast
We would laugh uncontrollably
Eat junk constantly and act unresponsively
We didn't care who was watching or what they were saying because we had eachother and I was happy with that.
But you stopped caring as much
We stopped talking
And I realized I was being used
And I guess high wore off
Now I don't see you around much
When I do you need something
Now when I call you I only talk to your voicemail
I mean it's not the first time this has happened
One time I was left for cigarette or something like that because they were popular and wether you want to believe it or not they are slowly killing you
Another time we got caught and now we are not allowed to see each other, every day I wish it could have ended better
It just doesn't seem fair
It feels like it was all doomed from the start
Your parents warned you about me
But why didn't anyone tell me about you
10.18.2015
ALIVE
When the plane hits a lot of turbulence
When you look over the edge of a cliff
When you mess up in front of the class
When someone yells at you
When you fall on to your bed after a long day
When the kiss actually means something
When making a huge decision
When you know the outcome
When you don't know the outcome
When the car drifts
When you bleed
When you hear the good news first and you know the bad new is going to suck
When you wake up from a dream
When you get out of your comfort zone
When you can't put feelings into words
I know I'm alive when my pulse is pounding like a fist on a door. Like the fist is the experience and I have the choice to let it in.
10.12.2015
Shoebox of Old Boyfriends
Box of Photo Booth pictures with past boyfriends and a song to go along with each:
I
Waiting in an alley underneath a street lamp
Grabbing my hand but only kissing half my lips
We were 11 and now 18 and laughing about it
WHEN YOU LOVE SOMEBODY// THE FRUIT BATS
II
By the time they told me to be careful it was too late
The "first love" poisoned me from the start
Broken is how you left me
YOU// THE 1975
III
Car parked , blankets out, you were cold but I couldn't feel a thing
Fake love ft. passive me and aggressive you
He should've known that waiting on love isn't an easy thing to do
IT WILL COME BACK// HOZIER
IV
Lake water, shaky hands, and locked eyes
Devils tears playing, god it felt right
Thoughts running wild like your fingers in my hair
THE DEVIL'S TEARS// ANGUS AND JULIA STONE
10.04.2015
Broken Glass
I'm so damn tierd of trying to
Tiptoe trough the broken glass
Of what once was a grand
Work of art
Why is it every time I talk to you
I'm about to step on a bomb
Because every conversation is a
Minefield.
10.03.2015
The Moon vs.The Universe
You say you love the moon
You say you think it's beautiful
So dose everybody else
I'm not saying that it's not true
I'm just saying this because you're just as predictable as the moon
Yeah you go through phases
Yeah you have marks that won't go away
But what makes you so special?
I know you can love.
But what's that worth if you spend your entire life orbiting the same thing over and over again?
"I love you to the moon and back"
One of the phrases I hate the most
I could care less
I don't want to live my life thinking that "love" is just a gravitational force that sucks you in and pulls you in the same endless cycle
Never changing
Never ending
Never different
I don't want a love when the journey is just some path I travel time after time
I don't want to be able to predict the outcome
I want a love that's like a black hole
I want to be drawn in
I want to not know what it will bring
I want to be scared
But love what if in my journey I never find the real you?
Do you think it's possible for wild me to be lost in your embrace?
Have you already found me I'm just not ready to find you?
Your light fills my room and I listen to the ghosts of past "loves"
Occasionally catching a glimpse of loves face
Cold and colorless now
Love never stays long enough for me to ask.
But I think it's best I don't
Maybe it's not knowing love that makes you keep looking for him or her
Maybe you found love long ago
Maybe you're looking for love in the streets of Venice but maybe love is in middle of nowhere with a flat tire.
Maybe you have past love on the street
Maybe you and love live on different sides of the world.
But maybe if you're lucky love is looking for you too...
But you see we may never quite know
I think real love is unpredictable
Like the uncharted an unseen endless miles of space.
Why settle for a moon when maybe the whole universe is longing for you.
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